oh what to do now ?

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farley13 GLASGOW UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:35 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
OK started chatting with a nice guy exactly 6 days ago .now I'm getting the "we could be soul mates" speech and the "when you coming to see me?" speech as well .now i listen to what most of you say in other threads relating to dating and iv done the fair thing by telling him to slow down he replies by saying "if its meant to be were not rushing" ? basically without getting into the whole thing he has an answer for everything and its getting on my nerves ,but i have to tread care-full as hes rather emotional so what would be the best way to deal with this ?like i said iv tried the "being kind" part iv also tried the "stop rushing and lets see what we have in common" but he just wont stop with the "soppy speeches" don't get me wrong i understand some people are more emotional than others so iv tried to be gentle but firm to no avail , the other day he sent me a message ,i read it but couldn't think of what to say so decided to leave it a while then get back to it when i had more time to think about it ,20 minutes later "i saw you have read my message but didn't reply? have you lost interest ?" or when i put my new pic up he was like "you will have everyone chasing you now that you have a new pic up ,I'm not sure i like that" ? iv asked him to stop and he tells me iv picked it up wrong he was only complimenting me ? so then i feel like a child whos been told off lol help oh wise peeps confused
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tufty Chelmsford, Essex, England UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:38 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
Well...

He was probably right about the new pic comment, otherwise seems like far to much pressure for just "getting to know if you want to know"
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markizamkd25 Republic of Macedonia Macedonia
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:39 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
dont listen others follow ur heart professor
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kidatheart Southern BC/Lamont, Alberta Canada
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:40 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
To think that's only the beginning.laugh

What happens if/when you meet? Could you live with someone like that?

When do the leg irons come out?laugh
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DadofDucks Wentzville, Missouri USA
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:42 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
farley13: OK started chatting with a nice guy exactly 6 days ago .now I'm getting the "we could be soul mates" speech and the "when you coming to see me?" speech as well .now i listen to what most of you say in other threads relating to dating and iv done the fair thing by telling him to slow down he replies by saying "if its meant to be were not rushing" ? basically without getting into the whole thing he has an answer for everything and its getting on my nerves ,but i have to tread care-full as hes rather emotional so what would be the best way to deal with this ?like i said iv tried the "being kind" part iv also tried the "stop rushing and lets see what we have in common" but he just wont stop with the "soppy speeches" don't get me wrong i understand some people are more emotional than others so iv tried to be gentle but firm to no avail , the other day he sent me a message ,i read it but couldn't think of what to say so decided to leave it a while then get back to it when i had more time to think about it ,20 minutes later "i saw you have read my message but didn't reply? have you lost interest ?" or when i put my new pic up he was like "you will have everyone chasing you now that you have a new pic up ,I'm not sure i like that" ? iv asked him to stop and he tells me iv picked it up wrong he was only complimenting me ? so then i feel like a child whos been told off lol help oh wise peeps


First off the new pic is GREAT!!!
Second move at a pacce that YOU are comfertable with, and no one else. If he doesnt like it he can take a hike. Take care of YOU and move a pace YOU are comfertable with...
Good luck with your stalker...rolling on the floor laughing dancing banana teddy bear
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bodleing Greater Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:43 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
If he uses the forums, i guess he should
soon get the message.
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X5323601 Fairbanks, Alaska USA
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:44 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
farley13: OK started chatting with a nice guy exactly 6 days ago .now I'm getting the "we could be soul mates" speech and the "when you coming to see me?" speech as well .now i listen to what most of you say in other threads relating to dating and iv done the fair thing by telling him to slow down he replies by saying "if its meant to be were not rushing" ? basically without getting into the whole thing he has an answer for everything and its getting on my nerves ,but i have to tread care-full as hes rather emotional so what would be the best way to deal with this ?like i said iv tried the "being kind" part iv also tried the "stop rushing and lets see what we have in common" but he just wont stop with the "soppy speeches" don't get me wrong i understand some people are more emotional than others so iv tried to be gentle but firm to no avail , the other day he sent me a message ,i read it but couldn't think of what to say so decided to leave it a while then get back to it when i had more time to think about it ,20 minutes later "i saw you have read my message but didn't reply? have you lost interest ?" or when i put my new pic up he was like "you will have everyone chasing you now that you have a new pic up ,I'm not sure i like that" ? iv asked him to stop and he tells me iv picked it up wrong he was only complimenting me ? so then i feel like a child whos been told off lol help oh wise peeps

Sounds desperate to me, and a little off I might add, hit him with the fire hose... I'll email you later...
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farley13 GLASGOW UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:47 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
lol @ the leg irons and stalker remarks laugh and to above sadly my heart is quiet at the moment and i usually deal with my instincts at times like this but not a peep from that department at present ,im not looking for answers just a bit of advice fom an outsider conversing
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RedHeadedTaurus Here, Michigan USA
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:49 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
markizamkd25: dont listen others follow ur heart




I agree with this, for the most part. Though I would merely suggest that you not feel pressured or swayed in to anything that you do not feel completely comfortable with. Trust your intuitions...



All the best.a flower for you
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farley13 GLASGOW UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:49 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
bodleing: If he uses the forums, i guess he should
soon get the message.


no he doesnt use them thats the only reason i thought it would be safe to do this lol but trust me i havent said anything here that i havent already said to him
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gingerb Letterkenny, Donegal Ireland
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:49 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
Anything ending in "OFF" would work...........
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bodleing Greater Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:52 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
gingerb: Anything ending in "OFF" would work...........


Except....get em ~~~


laugh
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roseofsharon Buggered if I know where...?!!, Hampshire, England UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:52 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
farley13: OK started chatting with a nice guy exactly 6 days ago .now I'm getting the "we could be soul mates" speech and the "when you coming to see me?" speech as well .now i listen to what most of you say in other threads relating to dating and iv done the fair thing by telling him to slow down he replies by saying "if its meant to be were not rushing" ? basically without getting into the whole thing he has an answer for everything and its getting on my nerves ,but i have to tread care-full as hes rather emotional so what would be the best way to deal with this ?like i said iv tried the "being kind" part iv also tried the "stop rushing and lets see what we have in common" but he just wont stop with the "soppy speeches" don't get me wrong i understand some people are more emotional than others so iv tried to be gentle but firm to no avail , the other day he sent me a message ,i read it but couldn't think of what to say so decided to leave it a while then get back to it when i had more time to think about it ,20 minutes later "i saw you have read my message but didn't reply? have you lost interest ?" or when i put my new pic up he was like "you will have everyone chasing you now that you have a new pic up ,I'm not sure i like that" ? iv asked him to stop and he tells me iv picked it up wrong he was only complimenting me ? so then i feel like a child whos been told off lol help oh wise peeps


Mmmmm.... you seem to have a level head on you, that's good. One thing to bear in mind...... be careful of when giving him the benefit of the doubt actually becomes making excuses for him. There's a BIG difference, love.

Good luck!! cheers
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shygirl19 Hamilton, Waikato New Zealand
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:54 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
sometimes you just have to be straight up and honest....

I once had the same situation, things came to a head when he emailed me to say he was adding me to his insurance policies...Only way to solve it is to be completely honest, even if that honesty is kind of cruel its the best thing for everyone in the long run.


But, i TOTALLY feel your pain hug
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kidatheart Southern BC/Lamont, Alberta Canada
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 2:58 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
farley13: lol @ the leg irons and stalker remarks and to above sadly my heart is quiet at the moment and i usually deal with my instincts at times like this but not a peep from that department at present ,im not looking for answers just a bit of advice fom an outsider



It's extremely rare I give any advice. Just listen and ask questions and eventually you'll answer your own.wink

That and the odd smart ass remark.sticking out tongue

You'll figure it out.hug
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farley13 GLASGOW UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:01 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
roseofsharon: Mmmmm.... you seem to have a level head on you, that's good. One thing to bear in mind...... be careful of when giving him the benefit of the doubt actually becomes making excuses for him. There's a BIG difference, love.

Good luck!!


that sharon is exactly what i do when it comes to friends and what not ,i make excuses for everyone and sometimes get myself in a pickle but this time im not making them im actully being (sometimes) brutally honest and still he trots on .thankswine
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farley13 GLASGOW UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:07 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
shygirl19: sometimes you just have to be straight up and honest....

I once had the same situation, things came to a head when he emailed me to say he was adding me to his insurance policies...Only way to solve it is to be completely honest, even if that honesty is kind of cruel its the best thing for everyone in the long run.But, i TOTALLY feel your pain


you know what really scares me ? he already knows how long the flight would take and how much the tickets would be due to doing some checking up . how did you deal with it ?
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Hugz_n_Kissez Someplace, Ontario Canada
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 4:01 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
farley13: OK started chatting with a nice guy exactly 6 days ago .now I'm getting the "we could be soul mates" speech and the "when you coming to see me?" speech as well .now i listen to what most of you say in other threads relating to dating and iv done the fair thing by telling him to slow down he replies by saying "if its meant to be were not rushing" ? basically without getting into the whole thing he has an answer for everything and its getting on my nerves ,but i have to tread care-full as hes rather emotional so what would be the best way to deal with this ?like i said iv tried the "being kind" part iv also tried the "stop rushing and lets see what we have in common" but he just wont stop with the "soppy speeches" don't get me wrong i understand some people are more emotional than others so iv tried to be gentle but firm to no avail , the other day he sent me a message ,i read it but couldn't think of what to say so decided to leave it a while then get back to it when i had more time to think about it ,20 minutes later "i saw you have read my message but didn't reply? have you lost interest ?" or when i put my new pic up he was like "you will have everyone chasing you now that you have a new pic up ,I'm not sure i like that" ? iv asked him to stop and he tells me iv picked it up wrong he was only complimenting me ? so then i feel like a child whos been told off lol help oh wise peeps



Sounds scary...6 days and he thinks you're his soulmate...I hate to say it but he sounds obsessive and very manipulative....and of course when confronted he will deny it...that's what they do...look out because he also sounds like stalker material and I say this from experience....I would cut all ties with him because it will only get worse.....wine
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lusciousmile Espoo, Etela-Suomen Laani Finland
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 4:08 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
farley13: OK started chatting with a nice guy exactly 6 days ago .now I'm getting the "we could be soul mates" speech and the "when you coming to see me?" speech as well .now i listen to what most of you say in other threads relating to dating and iv done the fair thing by telling him to slow down he replies by saying "if its meant to be were not rushing" ? basically without getting into the whole thing he has an answer for everything and its getting on my nerves ,but i have to tread care-full as hes rather emotional so what would be the best way to deal with this ?like i said iv tried the "being kind" part iv also tried the "stop rushing and lets see what we have in common" but he just wont stop with the "soppy speeches" don't get me wrong i understand some people are more emotional than others so iv tried to be gentle but firm to no avail , the other day he sent me a message ,i read it but couldn't think of what to say so decided to leave it a while then get back to it when i had more time to think about it ,20 minutes later "i saw you have read my message but didn't reply? have you lost interest ?" or when i put my new pic up he was like "you will have everyone chasing you now that you have a new pic up ,I'm not sure i like that" ? iv asked him to stop and he tells me iv picked it up wrong he was only complimenting me ? so then i feel like a child whos been told off lol help oh wise peeps


Simple.
Tell him, what you just told us. Honesty always does it! thumbs up
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farley13 GLASGOW UK
[top] Mon Apr 14, 2008 4:18 PM CST : oh what to do now ?
Hugz_n_Kissez: Sounds scary...6 days and he thinks you're his soulmate...I hate to say it but he sounds obsessive and very manipulative....and of course when confronted he will deny it...that's what they do...look out because he also sounds like stalker material and I say this from experience....I would cut all ties with him because it will only get worse.....


took in what you said and im now at this moment going to just cut all ties , as most of you seem to have said the same thing "stalker" im glad i asked for help now as i wouldnt have seen it this way at all i would have just put it down to his personality or as sharon said made excuses for him .thankyou peeps you have all been a big help thumbs up
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