How soon is too soon for sex

THREAD AUTHOR

Ashlie St.John's, Newfoundland Canada

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:50 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

Ok, I am not really the type of person to ask this kind of a question but I am really curious to know. I just turned 19 and just gotten out of a long term relationship. I was used to my ex-boyfriend, they way he'd talk to me and the way he was with me. I am now back on the dating scene and am having some difficulty. I have never really dated seeing as how I was with my ex for most of my teen years. Now the problem I am running into; I am not sure if it is the type of guys I've been meeting or just an age thing I just haven't been exposed to until now. But to cut to the point, Most guys want sex right away. I don't know if I am being old fashioned or these guys just want one thing, but I don't do that. I don't want to just have sex. I don't do casual sex. Now I get lectures on this from all the guys I hang out with that it's just sex...but isn't it supposed to be more than that...I was thinking that because the last couple of guys I dated were older, 22-25 and I am 19 that maybe it's an age thing. But for me to have a relationship with somebody I relate to he has to be a little older...So please if u have any advise..help me to understand this further...

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Windygirl Dayton, Ohio USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:52 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

You're right on target. Don't compromise at all, you'll regret it.

You've just snagged a couple losers like we all do.

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TabooN Claremont USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:56 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

like erin says..exactly.

Guys will try to convince you it's no big dealll but, it is..and, Seems you know this. Comfort in sex is empty without all the rest along with it...
Stand your ground...and, ah

have patients. LOTS, lol.
=o)

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dixrog Norton, Virginia USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:59 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

In response to:

You're right on target. Don't compromise at all, you'll regret it.

You've just snagged a couple losers like we all do.

Exactly Windy! Ash, just cause most of the rest of the world has gone to hell in a handbasket doesn't mean that you have to follow suite! You act like a lady and you will be treated like one, and trust me, the type of man that will attract will be a keeper, rather than a player!

;)

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arabella Temple, Maine USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:01 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

In response to:

like erin says..exactly.

Guys will try to convince you it's no big dealll but, it is..and, Seems you know this. Comfort in sex is empty without all the rest along with it...
Stand your ground...and, ah

have patients. LOTS, lol.
=o)

They'll all ask for that at that age and at any other age!

It's a test, to see if you will put out immediately, without their having to make any effort.

Just say, "What do I look like, the town PUMP???"

And as you grow up, it will be easier to understand...

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TabooN Claremont USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:03 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

In response to:

They'll all ask for that at that age and at any other age!

It's a test, to see if you will put out immediately, without their having to make any effort.

Just say, "What do I look like, the town PUMP???"

And as you grow up, it will be easier to understand...

town pump? ooooo, good one, lmfao!!! {oD

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Ashlie St.John's, Newfoundland Canada

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:06 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

Yes, I do understand this all...thank you for the messages and letting me know that I'm not just looking in the wrong places...these kinds of guys are everywhere. It just sucks that some of them will not stick around if you don't put out. However, I know that somebody will come alot who will wait and he'll be worth it. It's just the here and now that sucks! lol
thanks for the advice lady's

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articulate

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:09 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

An "Experienced" male point of view.....
It is probably a natural male instinct, testosterone driven, to try to get to the sex part first. Don't go there when He wants to, wait until, when/if it feels Right for You, a sober voluntary decision You made....If he won't wait, build a foundation, he's not right for You....
my opinion...

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TabooN Claremont USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:11 AM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

in the meantime, you...

you are young, have so much in front of you!

try to learn to love being with you, and only you. Do the little things you like, and care about you...

Might seem sucky, here and now, and go ahead and feel it. That's why we are equipt with the ability...

You can choose whatever you want! how cool is that?! =oD

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Meilandra Eden Prairie, Minnesota USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 12:09 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

There was a thread recently where I posted about the advantages of older men over younger. In my personal experience from dating in my 20's until my first marriage, then again in my late 30's before my second, the main difference I found was that older men (approaching and up past 40) are way more into getting their pleasure from pleasing their partner, while younger men are more there just for their own experience of having sex.

I've found that to also be true recently, when I've asked several men what their favorite things is sexually, and much to my surprise they have ALL clearly stated "pleasuring my partner."

Not a study of a large population, but I thought that was pretty cool, and significant.

As for your situation, I know it doesn't help... Ditto what's been said previously, just hold out for what you want, there are guys out there who are more sensitive, and who are waiting for a special girl who isn't out there sleeping with every guy who asks.

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shellsmack Coshocton USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 12:45 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

lol, as soon as he gets a lump in his jeans.

Seriously, I think sexual contact is a special, intimate thing that shouldn't be taken lightly. It's a gift, an embrace, a unity.

Take your time. Get to KNOW the person you're about to give your "whole" to. (no pun intended)

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mach25

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:16 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

sex should be tsken more serious sometimes, and we don't. Sex should be a step up in a relationship, not what the relationship is built upon.

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Katine76 Moncton Canada

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:43 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

In response to:

sex should be tsken more serious sometimes, and we don't. Sex should be a step up in a relationship, not what the relationship is built upon.

I agree completly with Mach. If you want a real relationship then wait till you get to know one another first before jumping into sex. Because most times if you start off with sex the relationship won't last because it is based on the intimacy and not personality and other important factors to a relationship.

Tracy :o)

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deborah12 wolverhampton UK

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:44 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

if you waited a few months do you think that is a long time for a mans opinion

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izzyva Highland Springs, Virginia USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:45 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

It's never to soon

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Katine76 Moncton Canada

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:50 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

In response to:

if you waited a few months do you think that is a long time for a mans opinion

I know that with my last ex we waited a few months and with my ex before him we waited for 7 weeks. I know it can be hard sometimes but I think its worth it. I did the mistake once to start off with someone with sex and I got attached and he didn't and we ended up breaking it off and since we were friends before that it was ackward afterwards being back friends again. So learned a lesson there.

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deborah12 wolverhampton UK

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:52 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

do you think a few months is enough time to wait or longer

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pgjmgmgg Moncton, New Brunswick Canada

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:53 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

In response to:

It's never to soon

I think that there is too soon. The last guy I was dating taught about the same as you. We did not make it very far. I felt after that I had given in to him that it was all he wanted. We would not talk anymore and we just grew apart. I resented him when he called because I had the feeling that he was just using me.

I think she has the right idea to wait till she thinks she is ready.

Relationship do need to grow before intimaty.

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izzyva Highland Springs, Virginia USA

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:53 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

Too Long, LMAO

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starliteisbrite The planet earth....:), Ontario Canada

[top] Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:54 PM CST : How soon is too soon for sex?

Are we there yet..........lmao

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