Mate, believe me...you are far from hideous! anyone with the guts to spill their soul out to the world is special. You got beat up because you have the strength of character to stand up against the herd! Be proud of yourself and revel in the knowledge that you will grow in wisdom and the power to help others in the future. You have the ability of deep "introspection", something most are afraid to do.
Your friend, as painful as this may be.....obviously loved you! Do you think that she would be happy knowing that you are destroying yourself?
Honor her by forgiving yourself and becoming the man that she loved.
She knows how you felt about her! Trust it! and be at peace! so that she can rest in Peace!
Regards.....Ed!
Artythis: Where to start?, i probably just complaining but ah well here it go's.
Well i recently moved back from Brisie to my home town for a few reasons, to spend some time with family before i go back to my studies, to get away from the big smoke and a few others.
All through school i was picked on and judged just because i had different veiws on things and so i was a very unpopular person. More often alone and not many friends to boot. I had one very special friend for who i cared deeply about but unfortunantly i never got the chance to tell her that as she passed away. I don't think i ever forgave myself for that, heck i still havn't. Quite often i asked" why?, why not me instead?" because i felt as though i wasn't worth anything, not worth caring about. Ive been told to just get over it by many people including friends and family but really, if they could only feel what i do then they'd understand exactly why its so hard to get over.
I consider myself to be one of the most hidious peolple on earth and i can admit that there are alot of people i dont like in this world but none more so then myself. I just feel like ive been robbed of having someone i cared about and actually telling them that i loved them, To me there's nothing more immportent then having someone in your life for whome you love so much, i know thats all i ever wanted, just somene to care about and tell them how much i do care about them.
Anyways, im not after sympathy, i just would like people to listen to what i have to say. For any one on here who has some one that they like, don't hesitate to tell them how you feel, cause they might just not be there tomorrow and you might regret not telling them how you feel.
And for those who have someone or just gained someones love, your truly blessed and im kind of jelous lol.
Anyways, i appologise to anyone who is reading this for sounding boaring/ complaining alot or wasting you time, thanks for reading.