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Oh my golly sheesh... long distance is always a huge gamble for that reason. At least you gave her and the relationship a good go.

I am sure you will find someone far more suitable and date a little while first get to know the person and develop a friendship with them that way if you dont get on with them it is an easy out before things get too serious.

Ps sell the ring on ebay or somewhere because if you give it to another girl i think it is bad luck.. specially if she finds out lol :-)

Thank you for your kind words Sweetlolita, i will try selling the ring on ebay sometime, i'm trying to be optimistic about finding someone else, i'm just rather hard on myself at times,more often then not really.

Anyways thanks again and i will most deffinantly take your advice and not give it to anyone else

I think good onya for taking such a gamble. There is no way I would have done it and atleast you can look back and say you gave it a shot.

Any potential partners now, I would just take it very easy and slowly and don't spend so much money/time on gifts.. Words are always nicer to hear

Good Luck to you matey..

On a side note, is there any way you can still get back into the course you wanted?

Thanks for your advice Lou79, yea im trying to get back into it at the moment but i may have to wait till the year's finished so im just gona bide my time with some tafe studiestill then.

Thanks again for your kind words.

Wow, Arty, you know what, I can totally relate to this.
So I know what you are going through & it does get easier, here's my story for you.

A guy from England (UK) had contacted me on a games site that I go into because I had left a comment about me turning 40, anyway, he had just been to Oz on a working holiday. So, we kept in touch as friends first & chatted online most days, then he got work in Amsterdam and I didn't hear from him so much, I wasn't overly worried because I just wasn't that attracted to him. I looked at it as a friendship.
Anyway, time went by & I was actually in a different town caring for my mum who was dying of cancer & he started contact with me via text & phone calls. I was surprised to say the least. It was nice just to talk to someone.
He then revealed to me that his feelings to me were more than friendship, ok, I was flattered & just went with the flow. He spoke to me the day my mum died & was very supportive.
Anyway, it all started to move quickly from there, he decided to come to Oz the following March for my birthday. We hit it off straight away & he wasn't that hard on the eye either lol.
He went back to Amsterdam a month later, & it was horrible, we were both hooked on each other.
So, here is where the fun begins.
I guess I was feeling very alone, but I paid for his ticket from Amsterdam (return, thank god) . He stayed with me & had absolutely no money. On a winner here Kaz, hey, but it gets better. Even tho he would say he loved me, he showed me absolutely NO affection, he couldn't hold my hand & getting a kiss from him was like getting blood from a stone. Yeah I tried it all to get his interest, but nope to no avail. I had spoken to him on a couple of occasions & he said he would change, hah, yeah right.
So then stupid me, wanted to take myself & my kids to Fiji, & yep, I paid for him too.
He got drunk every night, never even so much as talked to me or touched me, so I just decided to do my own thing with my kids.
We went on a waterfall tour, I slipped, was bleeding everywhere, totally embarrassed & ended up cracking a bone in my shin. He never helped me at all, he actually went off with everyone else on the tour while the tour guide & another ladies hubby helped me, Yep I can pick em.
We got back & I kicked his sorry ass out but not before I gave him money to get back with. Which he promised to pay back..
Yeah right, will I get it back NO.
But, I guess what I am saying is, what happened to us, happens more than we think it does.
But, I sat there feeling sorry for myself for a while, then thought stuff it. So I am back out there.

What have I learnt, to know that I am not always the problem, he was an arsehole, lol & that I know what I want in a relationship & a man & hope to acheive that one day.
We all just have to sort the weeds from the flowers..

I also say that we become stronger & learn from our experience.
Don't be put off not all men & women are like that, some of us are genuine & looking for the real deal.

Good luck Arty, Just sus the person out before we go & make the same mistake again.

Have rambled enough.
Good luck I am sure you will find it but, It will probably happen when u least expect it.

I love you Justluvflowers

Now if you could just pay my airfare to be with you... I will do my utmost to sponge off you as long as you will have me

P.S.... I require lots of alcohol



Sorry if this post is in bad taste... but I've had quite a few tonight

Thanks Justluvflowers, i'm glad(not in the literal) someone know's what i whent through, im sorry to hear that you had to go through all that yourself, i'm pretty sure you will find that mr right one day. Thank you for your advice i will most deffinantly use it. Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my post.

bourbs bourbs bourbs, u are sooo sweet.
Aint gonna happen.... lol
Have had enough of spongers.

Its all good. Alcohol is good
Glad I could make u smile bourbs

Good things come to those who wait

Wasn't so much that it made me smile. It was more a case of trying to paint a lighter side to a sad event.

It amazes me that people will pay someone's airfare when they really don't know them all that well.

But I suppose you live and learn.

I read a different take on that concept somewhere... went something like...

"Those who wait end up with the leftovers"

I guess its how you want to read it.

I not going to settle for crumbs lol.

& re: ^ above comment, the thing was, I thought I did know him after talking for a year, but, I guess not as well as I thought.
Maybe I am just plain old stupid, or just plain & old

Oh My Got Flowers & Arty so sad to hear of you both being "played" in such a big way and disappointed. All I can say is what goes around comes around and karma is gonna bite those type of users in the ass big time

I have decided to be a NUN.... over the whole dating game At least nuns might get some if the parish priest is a hottie

Definitely born in the wrong era me thinks - it's all wham bam thank you m'aam expectations these days generally - a casual bonk or shag buddy and hey that's fine if what you want but man a best friend/lover would certainly be the icing on the cake

Hugs to you both - you deserve much happiness - and I agree flowers it usually happens when you least expect it

Well I could be harsh and rude. Or i could try to commiserate.

I Do hope you have opened your eyes.

1) Hopefully you have learnt the old adage. You don't know someone truly until you have lived with them.

Never ever contemplate marriage until yuo have done that for at least six months. Sure get engaged for the sake of the thing but never go to stage two of buying a ring until you have lived with her for at least that time frame. (I know too late)

2) Don't give up stuff for someone else. They should love you for who you are. A mistake we all make, over and over again. And we always regret doing so. Can you get back into universtity and do your batchelors. If so do it. For the sake of your future. And if you ever have children. For the sake of there future.

3) You can't buy love. Gifts and expensive rings. Don't buy love. If it isn't there no amount of material stuff will place it there. Not in any relationship. Love is not superficial and it won't be repaired with superficial gifts. You have to make everyday work and everyday has to reflect your love and Devotion to that person. And that last sentence is for both parties.

But Artythis. You gave it a go. You went out of your way to pursue a dream. Not something a lot of us would do. That is not something most of us would do. Most of us would build roadblocks and make excuses. That was great of you. (I personally may think something else but i still have to say "Balls" to you for trying)
I hope you learn and grow from this. And I hope you haven't destroyed your future because of this.

Unfortunate if you have.

But Time heals and if you keep trying and use the dedication you put into the last relationship, You will plough out a new future and a new career with ease.

Well done for trying and sorry for hurt. I hope you find the comfort u seek and a new partner in your life. I also hope you can get back into university.
Good luck with the future.

Gee Arty,I just think your plain Lucky...Lucky you didnt marry the first week.
Your actions only go to show your a sweet guy & you wear your heart on your sleeve.
I think the advise given before me is accurate take time ,meet first, cyber chatting/dating is surreal,intense& sometimes doesnt reflect peoples true motives.
If you look at it more as a place to meet rather than a place to fall in love be a better way to protect your heart.

Good luck

Heartaches come and go...

Did a long distance thing, just last night got to the bottom of some things, she got rude on her last words, I got lucky I did not take this one very serious....

Thing is ya learn as life goes on, some are good some are not....

Hi dragondog4, thanks for your advice its really good and ive done alot to move on with my life, i've got back to my studies as of yesterday and i'm just takeing life as it comes, im deffinantly gona get back into university and really get things going. I'll be sure not to make the same mistake again and also keep it more closer to home,like in the same state or maybe then next one closest to it,lol. Well i guess either way it was a leason well learned and a part of life is learning from the mistaks you make and to better yourself. Thanks again and cheers!